Nostalgia Bites.(Can be interpreted either way).

I’ve never been one to be overly nostalgic about anything. It’s always been my nature to push through, onward and upward. At least since I was twelve and my father died. We had been very close. After spending a year of non stop crying and grieving, my personality changed somewhat, except in as far as art goes. I was always an artist, and always will be. It’s not really something that I chose, so much as it being an intrinsic part of who I am. It has saved me in many ways on countless occasions. Compelling me to push through the good and the bad. That’s why it’s weird for me to be getting nostalgic. I have a sneaky suspicion that the plague may have something to do with it. I find myself listening more often to music that I connected to in my youth. Which is, unusual to say the least.

Tick Tock

It started with me looking for upbeat music to listen to in the morning because I was feeling a little blue, which is also something that I tend to push down into the depths. Unlike a lot of people who feel the need to bond with others over their angst, problems, or if they stubbed their toe, that’s just not something I ever liked doing. ( Except for with my ex, because that’s a given, and even then not nearly as often as most people.) And I can say this with some acumen, simply from observation in life and social media. In any case this reticence on my part, is mostly because to rehash things that have happened, or how I’m feeling, just seems to make it worse for me. So there you go. Yet, now here I am, listening to music that meant something to me when I was young and wading through the struggles of being a kid, growing up, having kids, raising kids, etc..

I put Pandora on, starting with the upbeat… I chose early Beatles, and it’s algorithm or whatever, starts scrolling through a universe of songs I haven’t heard or thought about in decades from groups I loved and felt I belonged to at different ages of my life. And other than scents, music is one of those rare things that can instantly transport you to that second, that hour, that day, that decade that you lived, grew, regressed, loved and hated, in.

From Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, to Led Zeppelin, to Sgt. Pepper, Pink Floyd, Creedence Clearwater Revival, The Foundations, Sonny Terry and Brownie McGhee, and a host of other memories. Some better than others. And this was just the ones that came up from that first group I picked that Pandora was scraping my heartstrings with.

In reality, it doesn’t make me feel sad. Picture one of those movies where the wise older person is reminiscing, narrating about times past, with love. This is not to say that my past was rosy. It was actually very difficult. But I am also not one to look for sympathy when things happen. Other than when I was very young and had lost both my parents. But even with that, I eventually came to realize that that was not how I wanted to see myself, or for others to see me; a Dickens-esk orphan. I had to be strong and make a lot of tough decisions. The only difference from many other people, is that I was doing it at a much younger age. For example. I didn’t have much family left, and those I did, well, I just couldn’t imagine having to live with them. At fifteen I became an emancipated minor, and got a little apartment. How this played out, is a story for another time, heheh. Don’t want to overwhelm you all. If it were to be made into a TV show, it could either be portrayed as a drama, with love, loss, and intrigue, or a dramedy, with the aforementioned, and a comedy of errors, and maybe some slapstick thrown in. (Not much though as slapstick is basically the lowest form of humor, other than puns. Except of course through the genius of Chaplin. Chaplin, who despite some really bad personal choices, was the epitome of slapstick.)

I continue to grow with my painting. I do, (rarely) have nostalgia for my earlier paintings and scribblings, but always with a very critical eye. Ask any artist, and for the most part they don’t like their past works. That’s because art is one of those things where by it’s very nature, is ever changing. Most of us artists feel that we have improved over time. I can only speak for myself when I say that I prefer people to see my most recent work. Maybe it’s a bit of an ego thing, where we want people to see what we are capable of now, as opposed to then, Like, “oh god, my work now is so much better! Heheheh. Musicians too, are artists, and if they are dedicated and good, they evolve, as well. I think for them sometimes, it’s harder because so many fans will love a certain piece of music so much that any changes are abhorrent to them. They have my sympathies.

Nostalgia, a wistfulness for the past, can be a funny thing. It can become a rabbit hole that folks fall down, and find hard to climb out of. Or it can be something that we look at with wonder of how we survived it all, and pride that we did. We can take a look back for a little while, and then move forward.

Thanks for reading my blog. Please visit my gallery, and check out my work on my Etsy site, etsy.com/shop/omordah or visit susanm.l.mooreartist on Instagram, (where I tend to showcase my most recent work). Please “follow” “like and share” here and at these sites as this helps to grow my art life!

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Stay safe and well, see you next time!

Couldn’t think of an appropriate title for this, sorry.

As I was writing my most recent blog, I read some extremely sad news. My family and I have been following and loving Marc Maron for many years. His style of humor, at once disgruntled with the world, while being so relatebly hilarious, along with his love and appreciation of music, and love for his cats has made him feel like we know him. This despite the fact that in his world we don’t even exist. Not in a true sense, but yes as his fans. It feels like more than that though.

Of late during the “plague” as he refers to it, he has been sheltering with his girlfriend, the director; Lynn Shelton. As someone who has been a long time admirer, it has been very obvious how happy Marc has been. He has been going live online, playing his guitar and even singing, often mentioning Lynn while she waved in the background.

When you let “celebrities” into your life it feels as if they are your friend. This is the case with Marc Maron for us. We relate and can empathize with him. His humor and even grumpiness helped us through some tough times.

Being someone who makes it clear he likes his privacy, (yet often grudgingly is there for his friends), it’s just doubly exciting when someone like this allows you into their life. Marc has been doing this with his somewhat impromptu online music bits. He stops and reads the comments and it feels intimate and friendly. I had what to me was a happy experience just last week during one of these sessions. I had mentioned the name of Chuck Berry to him. He commented on it then started riffing some of Chuck Berry’s music. He was happy and singing and it felt like being there in his living room, Lynn in the background sometimes commenting.

Yesterday on a break from writing I read the devastating news that Lynn who had been sick for about a week, had passed. I am crushed at how unfair this life can be. I am just someone out here in the ether of fans, (oh how I hate that word). Although it was not related to Covid19, her sudden death has somehow hit me harder than so many other horror stories we hear everyday. Possibly because of the nature of this plague, were we are kept apart from the suffering, it is hard to relate to it unless it hits personally. It is more likely because she and Marc welcomed us into their happy life, and we love them in our way. I am grieving for her loss, for her family and friends. What I have read from the many people who loved and worked with her, she was a remarkable person, and will be dearly missed. But I especially grieve for, and find myself worried for Marc Maron. My god this is so horrific and unfair.

To this funny, sweet, man whose comedy, that strips bare the b s and, in an odd way gives us hope, and laughter, so much laughter, I send love and wish him the strength to weather this.