Decisions, Decisions

After being home due to Covid19 safety issues at my place of work, for some time, I now find myself searching for work, at an age when I should be planning my retirement. I won’t go back to my previous job as even in the best of times, it is a dangerous, mentally and physically exhausting job. I continued to work at my art, upping the game as much as possible in order to somehow make a living at what I know I am very good at, and love.

“The Maine Event”

Contrary to all of the hype, although it seems that the art world is thriving, I would say it is just the opposite. Inundated with kitschy and an anything is art attitude (which honestly who can say?), it is harder and harder for people to dig through the logjam to find the truly good, or even what they would like to own. But we artists carry on, as it’s in our blood, and do whatever it takes to get our work “out there”. Aside from trying to survive, we truly want people to enjoy our work. We want it to be seen.

The job market is very tough right now, also contrary to what is said. The one good side effect is that some employers are starting to understand that they have to offer a fair wage. I live in a small town where the jobs are either medical, retail/restaurant, or college with a few office related options. For two of those they require specific qualifications, for retail you have to have low self esteem or massive desperation, and for office jobs, mostly luck and to be quick. I managed to find one that appealed to me, as I am also a writer. But it is only part time, and seems that it will mostly be filing. Oh and just minimum wage, and no benefits. I find out tomorrow if they are interested in me, but am I interested in them? Yes it would allow me more time for my family and art, but it really isn’t enough pay, as well as the filing aspect along with being in a very tiny office with two other people.

“RUN!”

While trying to decide what to do in regard to the office job, if offered, I did the usual pros and cons thing, which includes the fact that I am the major bread winner in my household. I also did the asking the universe what I should do, thing. The office position should seem perfect, but something just doesn’t feel right about it. And that’s not good. It could just be normal hesitation due to having been out of work for so long. But I don’t think so.

Then the universe did something, I received a request to do a commission. It’s still at the very early stage of price negotiation etc. But having it pop up like that when it has also been a while for that, makes me hesitate even more about the office gig. Some might say, “a bird in the hand” and all that, and “do both” (which even five years ago was no big deal…) but something tells me to trust in myself, and do what feels right, and not get into a situation where I’m trying to do it all, for minimum wage. I guess another night to sleep on it might help.

“Macro Dream”

Thanks for reading my art life ramblings. Stay well!

If you are interested in commissioning a one of a kind art piece to treasure, please contact me. You can DM me here on WordPress. Or DM me on my Instagram page ( which I tend to be on more often) at, instagram.com/susanm.l.mooreartist . You can also purchase my art on Etsy at etsy.com/shop/omordah

I would love to hear from you!

Going Down To The Crossroads

No, not that crossroads. Though the “devil is definitely in the details”. Being at a crossroads with your art, or writing, or whatever creative things you do, is always a nail biting, angst ridden moment. And hopefully that’s all it is, a moment, a short period of time in your life where you may be questioning your creative ventures, your style, inspiration, or if you even want to continue. It can be a confusing and scary time.

OK so zombies may not be the best example, but they are scary and confusing.

In the course of my career as an artist, I’ve had many of these crossroad moments. In particular ones that in hindsight seem to coincide with that seven year evolution we all go through, uh, every seven years. (Proven, look it up). Not that I don’t have other “moments” in between, because I do, and have. But the big ones do fit that pattern. Currently I am going through it again. I should have realized as I have had a hard time concentrating, and finding inspiration, or ambition. At first I blamed it on this last, long year of Covid19 and isolation. You have to feed the beast, and being home all the time is not conducive to that. Hence my thinking that that was the only reason. It is a huge reason, but not the only one.

Recently, one of my adult children mentioned during a conversation about eye glasses, that she was “old” and her “eyes are sensitive now.” What the what?! She’s 35. And when I said that ‘I never really felt old until this year’, she sent a shocked face emoji. Humm. At any rate, that got me pondering, as us old folks will, that perhaps it isn’t just the plague causing my lack of inspiration. And doing some calculations, I saw that yes, I’m starting a new seven year cycle. I’ve embraced and been known as being an artist, nearly my entire life. If I don’t paint, or sketch, then who am I? Just another faceless person in the crowd?

Don’t worry, I haven’t gotten to the point of no return. As a matter of fact, I never really stopped painting or sketching. It just hasn’t been at the same level of intensity. I have been feeling somewhat directionless and all over the place. I’m sure I’m not the only person feeling this way. It has been a tough year for everyone, and many of us must be feeling at loose ends.

As with everyone else, I have been impacted in ways I didn’t foresee. Plans, important plans have had to be put on hold, possibly for a few years, possibly to never happen, and this has been difficult. Many toxic things happen on a daily basis in the world. As an artist, in a family of artists, I know that the impact of this toxic world hits us deeply, making creativity that much harder to attain. It’s hard not to be affected. It’s hard not to engage, or see it. But for us creatives, it is vital that we learn to do what we can to help, and not absorb all the toxins, because that causes us to become immobilized. Add to that the seven year metamorphosis, and you can see my dilemma.

As I sit here writing this, it feels a bit cathartic, like getting it out, writing about it helps. Yes, I have been painting and drawing things aimlessly, but maybe that’s good. I’m still working at it, and perhaps after I’ve had some time to just play around with it, something will kick in, and I’ll know which direction on that crossroad to follow.

Thanks for visiting and reading my blog. Stay well. If you are interested in any of my paintings or would like to commission a piece, please DM me, or go to my Etsy site, at etsy.com/shop/omordah I’d love to hear from you!

Dear Alabama

~A Love Letter To The USA~

Dear Alabama,

I am writing to say that I understand that we, all of us, have done things that we are not proud of. But with the passing of time we have learned to face this, and those of us who strive for goodness have done our best to change. To make amends and do what is right.

Together we have gazed toward the heavens as NASA and The MSFC showed the world what we could accomplish. Through it all we have stood strong. And yes, we have had our differences but at the core we are more alike than not. We want the same things; a safe home for our children, good food, to protect the stunning lands and animals that we have guardianship over.

This is what has made us strong, not perfect, but still strong. We have been a leader not because of our arrogance, but despite it, and know now that globally, we are all one.

Right now, in this time we face one of our greatest threats. We are splintering. And those who would do us harm are joyously embracing this. But we can still be strong enough to defend ourselves from those who would turn us against each other, and embrace those at home and around the world who stand with us.

When there is a tragedy in your home, we suffer with you as you do with us, and we join together to help each other. We can come together and show the world that we are one. That we can still be that beacon of hope.

Because at the end of the day, we are still the UNITED States of America.

Love, New York

Please feel free to change the state(s) names as you see fit and pass this on.

“United We Stand, Divided We Fall”

Susan M.L. Moore